Initial Adjustment
what will a new wife feel when she comes to America?

Excited to be in a new place, starting a new life. Eager and anxious to fit in. Happy with her husband. Homesick for family and friends. Worried about being accepted by the community. A little lonely. But life is a continuous adjustment to people, places and things. You can reduce the extent of culture shock if you read about and familiarize yourself about life in the USA.

1. Participate in the community, don't get isolated. Be familiar with where you live. For women who are not going to work, this is especially important. Go to the local library, explore the neighbour- hood, learn how to get around, look through the telephone directory and its "yellow pages" to learn about different organizations, community centers, etc.

Phone numbers of your own home, husband's work, family in Pakistan and in USA, mosque, doctor, Pakistani Embassy, desi women's groups (often referred to as 'South Asians').

· Records of your wedding (you may need to show proof of a good faith marriage), such as photographs, videos, and definitely the invitations from both families.

3. It is important to have a local identity card with a picture on it (the passport does not suffice ). An identity card is obtained from the Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV), You will be asked to show it often, to prove where you live, your age, etc. This card is issued regardless of whether you can drive.

4. Take driving lessons and get a driver's license.

5. Take classes to acquire some professional skills even if you do not intend to work.

6. Develop friendship through the mosque, offer to do some voluntary work there so you meet other women and develop a network. Get to know your neighbours, invite them over to meet you and your husband.

7. Be knowledgeable about financial matters: ask your husband to set up a joint account and open your own account (if possible), learn how to operate a bank account, know where the cheque book is kept, participate in the monthly task of paying bills.

8. Become actively involved and stay informed about your immigration status. Be sure you understand the application process: its procedures, deadlines, documentation required, etc. Your husband should have submitted an application to make you a Legal Permanent Resident (LPR) track this application to ensure he is following through. Many men don’t take these actions, or say they haven’t, and then threaten deportation Women's organizations in the USA can give you referrals for information about your immigration status.

9. If you are being abused, tell your family, tell a friend or a neighbour, ask for help. Call one of the numbers listed in this brochure.

10. Open a safe Deposit Box in your own name only and keep the key in a safe place. Store your important papers, jewelry, extra set of house and car keys, some money, and definitely your and your children’s (if applicable) passports. Your passport is your legal property, be sure you are in possession of it and that your husband does not keep it inaccessible or hidden from you.

There is an excellent guide, produced by Saheli, called "You Can! A Guide for the Immigrant Woman to Live in the US ". We urge you to order a copy right away so you and your family can get a picture of what living in the US will involve. To obtain it, U.S.A/Canada residents contact:
Saheli at PO Box.3665, Austin, Texas, 78764. Tel: 512-703-8745.
E-mail: saheli@usa.net
Pakistani residents contact Kismet or Saheli as convenient.