THE RISHTAPakistani parents have often wished they could obtain information to assist in judging the char-acter of a prospective son-in-law. Kismets’ founder, and many Pakistani parents who have enc-ountered some of the painful truths of transnational marriages, offer you the following advice about how to proceed when a 'rishta' comes your way.
Obtaining the information required to make a decision is far more challenging when the young man is abroad, and the only time you are able to meet him is when he is visiting home for a holiday. Parents of young women who experienced abusive marriages have repeatedly expressed that they regret not visiting the United States and/or Canada to judge the suitor and situation for themselves. These parents avoided visiting suitors prior to their marriage due to the expense, and instead trusted the suitors’ family to disclose an accurate portrayal of their son. But unfortunately, many families are unaware of the dark side of their son’s character. By visiting the United States and/or Canada to meet a prospective son-in-law, you will find out the situation and environment that awaits your daughter. Life is different in the United States and/or Canada, and discovering those differences (for example most women work outside their homes) can help you and your daughter make your decision.
Advice from ParentsParents carry a heavy burden because they have to judge the character of a future son-in-law and decide if he will be a suitable husband. If at all possible, visit the United States and/or Canada to meet the potential groom. Engage him in many conversations to gain a better sense of how he lives, how he thinks, and what he respects.
If you are able to visit the suitor in the United States and/or Canada before making your final decision, you can obtain a non-immigrant visa. Information regarding how to apply for a non-immigrant visa can be found through (U.S. Embassy) and (Canadian Embassy). If traveling to the United States and/or Canada is out of question because of financial or health limitations, we urge you to contact a family member or a close friend in the U.S. whose judgment you trust, to visit the suitor and obtain as much information about him as possible.